Something never done.

This is going to sound strange and I hope people don't find this insensitive but today I went into town to buy my boyfriend's dad a birthday card when it occurred to me that this is something I have never had to do before.

Image from Pixabay. 

          My dad died when I was 5, very young, hard to say how its affected me as it's all I've ever known. So because of this I've never been out and purchased something that says 'Happy Birthday to my Dad' or whatever on it. I don't know why and I don't know where this post is going but this thought struck me so much that it stopped me dead in my tracks and I had to write the feeling down (by texting my mum to start with of course).

        I just thought, this shop assistant thinks I'm in here very casually buying a card for my dad who I'm probably going to give this card to and say 'Happy Birthday Dad or Daddy or Pop' or again, whatever people say when in reality its something I can't even remember doing. I know I'm rambling now and this probably isn't interesting to anyone else. The thought didn't actually make me sad either, I was just surprised.  Surprised by my reaction to something I said I would do so offhand and not given it a second thought and also surprised that I hadn't thought of it before. I very suddenly felt thoughtful that we see so many people everyday doing such mundane things yet that could be the strangest thing they've done that day, or something brand new to them or something that for them has been very difficult. Even something so little as buying a birthday card. 

       Maybe a therapist will read this and have a field day, or maybe it will just be the people who normally read my blog (hello, thank you) wondering why I'm rambling on about a birthday card that will be forgotten by the end of the year. 

Thanks for reading my rambling, pointless post. I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head!